Today I wrote a poem:
Why did I choose to burn so bright, my soul and spirit all alight
with righteous and impassioned might, beyond my simple station?
Inspired by the ones I see who build up hope surrounding me
I cannot help but merrily expand on their foundation.
If I can grow and I can build then I can walk this path fulfilled
and still be strong and still be skilled without the want of mention.
It’s not enough — I don’t know why. I shake my fist and curse the sky.
I watch as days keep passing by but cannot ease this tension.
We’re all apart but we’re the same. “Hey! No we’re not!” some people claim,
a symptom of this present game consumed for our distraction.
I understand the choices made. When left alone the worries fade.
Know the cost: those worries weighed add drag to our inaction.
Our options now what little few that have the strength to carry through
our ragged and unruly crew to where we’ll find salvation:
Do not align, do not connect, and cannot thrive through such neglect.
Shared Truth finds only disrespect in a market or a nation.
The function and capacity of the oft-forgotten trinity
that holds up our society: money, vote, religion.
They must exist though they may change, their forms becoming warped or strange,
connected through unending change — if only just a smidgen.
And we keep changing most of all: we fade away, we rise and fall.
We hope that at our curtain call they cheer more than expected.
We do our best but we’re apart while birthing such momentous art
and yet we feel that in our heart it wants us disconnected.
So where’s the hope to carry us along this path so perilous
strewn with waste and dirt and dust we always walk together?
It’s in the hearts and minds and souls of those who share in costly tolls
and serve in countless varied roles through such uncertain weather.
We know it’s there yet take for granted seeds from roots from trees long planted
in groves majestic and enchanted beyond the edge of time.
The sacred and the luminous creating and succeeding us
without a worry, want or fuss -- just perfectly sublime.
Why have we come to fall apart? When will it end? When did it start?
Though in my mind and in my heart there’s no deliberation:
because it did, and when it can, before the very dawn of man,
before the Vedas or Quran, before the Revelation
Things were never quite complete — still nebulous and indiscrete,
thus how could such an item meet unfinished expectation?
What has fallen hadn’t set. It’s on the ground: examine it.
Find a way to make it fit. Please try collaboration.
This is a story about some stuff that happened during a mental health crisis I had.
A while ago I discovered an idea:
Important: The website listed in all of these links is pretty underpowered. I used to run it on hardware hefty enough to handle an uptick in traffic, at significant and needless cost, but it’s now in low power mode. For the purpose of this article it’s only worth visiting if you click a link.
This idea inspired me to develop psychological software:
Note: The term psychological software sounds pretty skeezy. That’s intentional. I didn’t invent the concept of psychological software. It’s a thing that gets deployed against us at scale all the time everywhere, by companies and governments and advertisers and religions and others. I’m just being deliberately transparent about how this type of stuff gets categorized in order to raise awareness of it.
I built a social media platform around this psychological software:
Note: Because this project was inspired by faith it’s a religious project and has religious terminology. I understand that people don’t like this. I wouldn’t have been able to do this if not for faith. I’ve attempted to reconcile this issue, and explain in further detail later on. The platform is a project management tool we can use in our personal lives to achieve personal, professional, or community goals.
This social media platform is an example of what’s achievable through global public infrastructure:
Because I knew people would be unhappy with the religious aspect of this project I started creating separate documentation with the hope of explaining that this is probably possible elsewhere.
I wrote a white paper about how this software could work. It’s a few thousands of words and is incomplete:
I don’t want to be in charge of this, or run it
I made it democratic with the intention of it hopefully being capable of changing in whatever way is most helpful to the people that participate in it. It was important to me that there be an element of shared myth involved in this component because we like being inspired.
Spoiler alert: It’s the Avengers. That dynamic represents an archetype that has been around in myth for a very, very long time. Except instead of having super powers, they’re just really competent and inspiring people who are taking time away from their lives to help grow a global philanthropic organization run through a form of direct-democracy.
This is all explained in a 22 page booklet, including job descriptions, here:
All of this can be the basis for a semi-decentralized social movement
This is about providing tools that can be used to help anyone in whatever way they need, as well as a community that wants to support them in their efforts. By generalizing some common steps for problem solving and offering relevant tools through a technology platform we can create a system where anyone with internet access is able to start working towards solving complex problems in a structured way, with support.
This can easily extend beyond individual use to group of community use.
I don’t see anything like this but I feel it can exist and that it would be of immense value to people so I’m not sure how to stop talking about it.
Faith-Like Behaviour may be a requirement for the development of consciousness
Artificial Intelligence research is, in some way, about creating artificial consciousness.
The data generated through the use of this platform can also be used in Artificial Intelligence research in a way that I think is critical, and which is not being explored elsewhere:
I believe that Computer Science currently biases against faith in ways that are harmful to developing a full understanding of what must be present in an artificial mind based on what was present during the development of our minds.
One of the modules could be used right now to increase the effectiveness of any activist or community group with access to the internet:
I provided examples of how people could use the platform:
The platform is a project management tool we can use in our personal lives to achieve personal, professional, or community goals.
At various points I was active on Reddit, Facebook ($300 ad spend), and Twitter (999 Tweets). Thousands of people have seen and interacted with my social media content. No one has ever signed up and confirmed their email. My Twitter account seems to have been suppressed in various ways, which are documented elsewhere, but other than that I’m not aware of any censorship efforts.
I’ve sent hundreds of emails and messages explaining this project to various academics, youtubers, podcasters, entrepreneurs, investors, and religious organizations. I’m mostly ignored although some people are nice and have pointed out spelling mistakes in marketing material, which is super appreciated.
I worry that people think I’m trying to change them instead of help them.
I stopped working on this in November 2019 and then A GLOBAL PANDEMIC HAPPENED and I tried so hard not to pick it back up.
Instead I made a YouTube channel with a puppet I have of myself. I am a very strange person. My mental health started to significantly deteriorate around this time.
I wrote a development newsletter and explained the website in some detail spanning over a dozen posts:
I recorded a video trying to explain why I made this. I don’t think I did a very good job with the video. At the time of posting it had 117 views and 1 like.
I’ve tried to understand all of the concerns about a project like this but I can’t because I have a number of biases relating to the project, so I’ve put in place a framework to remove myself from it as quickly as possible. I’ve also built as little of this as possible. It’s a bunch of, I believe, well considerate ideas combined together in a way that has a lot of potential value. It’s certainly not a final product. Maybe it can never be a final product.
This is a framework of half-conceived ideas built in the spaces between more solid ideas. I’m not trying to replace anything or change anything, I just think that those empty spaces represent opportunities to do a better job providing a bigger variety of tools and infrastructure we all need to improve the quality of our shared world.
One of the empty spaces where I’ve built this is where our society needs to have a source of revenue for the people who aren’t supported by the other systems. Just because there isn’t a system to build this system doesn’t mean this system can’t exist.
It feels like I’ve written this in a way that is pretty compelling, well-considered, and rational. I'm very proud of the poem.
I’d like to end with the following:
I don’t understand why this hasn’t gone anywhere. It feels like this can only exist in the world it’s trying to build, but that’s paradoxical because this is that world. The fact that it’s not going anywhere makes me feel like I’m wrong about the world, and I don’t believe I am. That’s what I’d think if my mental health were severely compromised. I don’t want to be doing this. This is awful and I’ve been failing at it for years. I don’t want this attention. Is this art? I don’t want to be a part of this.
But look at all of it. How could I stop?
WHAT ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?
UPDATE: June 4th, 2021 - It’s art! I’m an artist. Problem solved.